Dude, Don’t Do It…

Silhouette of two men talking, illustration

I have a friend who works with a guy, and he just told me this story that I feel completely compelled to post here on our blog.

This guy – let’s say ‘Chris’ has been dating a co-worker for awhile now (I’m not entirely sure how long, doesn’t matter). He is in love and decided he wanted to propose to her. Since they work together, he thought it would be cute if he proposed to her at work… Not something that I’d be interested in, but whatever, he wasn’t proposing to me. He made it an elaborate ordeal too, flower petals in the parking lot, the works. Good for him.

Prior to the actual proposal taking place, everyone in the office was talking about what a mistake this is, they are too young, they haven’t been together long enough, and some knew of her infidelity – but thought it wasn’t their place to say anything. So, my friend handed him a business card from www.shouldigetmarried.net – and told him he should get an Invite for Insight, just to get real feedback from his family and/or friends – he laughed and said “Dude, I don’t need that, we’re in love.” To which my friend replied, great, if you don’t need it, that’s awesome, but why wouldn’t you want to know how your friends and family, or co-workers feel about your decision, it could be that they all support you and think it’s a great idea, and if some don’t, you’ll at least know the truth. If you’re afraid of finding out the truth about how people feel about your situation, wouldn’t you want to explore that before making such a huge life-altering decision? Chris said he would not.

As it turns out, he did not get himself an Invite for Insight, and she did accept his proposal. However, within two weeks of being ‘happily’ engaged, fighting began, she has moved her things out of his place, they are not on speaking terms, and he has been having several physical relationships with new people.

I’m glad it turned out this way -that did not get married – because it’s clear they were not ready. It was evident to most who knew Chris. Had they continued with the engagement, who knows how long it would have lasted, or if they actually got married, how long before they would end up in divorce court?

My point here is that sometimes those closest to you can see – so glaringly – what you can’t, that it doesn’t hurt to find out what they think. It’s anonymous after all, so where’s the harm?


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